Never Fail

But I have prayed for you, that your faith should not fail; and when you have returned to Me, strengthen your brethren.

Luke 22:32

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Very early on in my relationship with Rex, I disclosed something that was worrisome to me: I had not failed in life.

That sounds crazy, right? Everyone fails. Everyone is dished up a bowl of disappointment at some point. Right? 

Every grade I wanted to make as a child, every job I aspired for, every goal I set, every peronal record physically, I was able to meet. If I could make a list and plot out my path, the outcome was pretty clear, for the most part: I would succeed.

Epic Fail

This statement holds true for every instance in my life except one: relationships.

Talk about epic fail? My Dad says I always "land on my feet." My friends think I should be a character in a warped Lifetime movie, perhaps at some point adapted for Broadway and then a nice book deal. The stories of the ridiculous relationships are unending. And completely, utterly unfulfilling. Or tragic in some instances.

And God? Well, perhaps He has been praying for me, that my faith should not fail and that I will return to Him. 

You see, I reflected on this recently. What was I missing? Why would all the tangible, well-considered goals in my life be met with success and my relationships be so...unsuccessful? 

Sneak By?

Perhaps we can sneak by on the jobs, the careers, the 10K times, the elections to Board positions, being hired on as the choice out of 16 candidates for the job. Perhaps the details, the body fat percentages, the number of pull ups, the black and white accomplishments in life, will come to us without Him. I DO believe that He is essential for success in my life. But are the "accomplishments" the true measure of success? Those are the questions we have to ask ourselves. 

"But without love. We have nothing."

The relationships in our lives must have Him for success. If He is not the focal point, if we do not cleave to Him in the presence of a relationships, in the request for a life-long partner, I believe that over, and over and OVER again, we will fail. I have failed.

I cling to the notion that God has gifted me with this relationship. Will I seek Him in it? Will you seek Him in yours? I believe every step we take towards Him with these precious partners, the closer we are to success. 

Wrinkle Free Relationships

"Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall. No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it."

1 Corinthians 10:12-13

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"Wrinkle Free Relationship"
When I met Rex, I believe I had a lot of assumptions about how perfectly things would unfold, that our commitment and desire to seek Christ in ourselves and one another would somehow smooth the path, free of wrinkles, before us.

My relationship history was mediocre at best, mottled with a wake of people I wanted to believe the best in. I reasoned that they would be the "right" one because they offered me many things: gifts, dinners, the famed rolex and .20 gauge youth model Beretta shotgun, a lifestyle of travel, a lifestyle of freedom, a lifestyle of carefreelessness.

In 34 years, none of those "right" ones came to the table. Each one fell: wrong, wrong, wrong.

It was only when I turned inward, when I focused on filling the statement "if ______ then God" that in strolled Rex. The way is simple from now on, right?

"Questionable Relationships"
Just because you enter into the most magical, amazing relationship doesn't mean the enemy's assaults cease to come at you. Suddenly, 10 weeks into this walk on a cloud (Rex will snort when he reads that), God allowed me to stand and take heed, lest I fall.

In the lobby of a hotel at a conference, a young guy approached me with the typical "who, what, where" line of questioning that I assume would have gone in the direction of dinner or a continued pursuit, had I encouraged it to. I shut him down quickly and I made a mental note to myself and prayed:  I was beginning to see that just because I had found Rex, it didn't prevent others from finding ME.

The enemy's assault began that weekend: text messages, voicemails, the contact was ceaseless. The inventory of relationships that I had not really shut the door on began to rear their heads: the airline pilot from Seattle that I hadn't heard from in over a year? Voicemail. The firefighter I once randomly kissed? Text message. The ex-boyfriend oil man from north Houston? Just letting me know he was thinking about me. It was almost comical! I kept picking up the phone to greet message, after email,  after voicemail of my past, presenting me with a choice: to respond or to delete.

A conscious decision had to be made: eliminate the questionable relationships. You see, I believe that God provides that off-ramp, He makes way the escape from temptation. As you move closer and closer to the temptation, however, the speed picks up and the scenery blurs, the ramp is harder to take and you begin to swerve, make last minute judgment calls, take risks that you know you shouldn't take. You can miss the off ramp - which means a complete detour, complication or even missing the destination you were intended for.

God IS faithful and He will not allow us to be tempted beyond what we can handle. But we have to look for the exit signs and take the off ramp before the temptation ever reaches our phone.